6 Jul 2012

Dear unannounced visitor

Dear unannounced visitor,

You turned up today without so much as a courtesy call. It didn't need to be far in advance. Five minutes would have been fine to give me enough time to throw everything in the bedroom and close the door.

In my fluster and embarrassment at the mess of my home I didn't get chance to share with you my excuses reasons why my house isn't tidy. So, here they are. Feel free to pick the one you believe the most and if you ever need to please do use one or two yourself.


1. Lady F spends a lot of time cruising around the furniture / crawling on the floor. I left the socks / bits of food / shoes / toys etc there to make life more interesting for her / practise her squats / in case she gets hungry.

2. We've been up all night with teething so we got up late today and my cleaning is behind schedule.

3. I'm still breastfeeding. Cleaning in my book counts as exercise and therefore might diminish my milk supply.

4. I don't want to disturb the spiders. They were here first, we just built our homes on their natural habitat.

5. It's a social experiment to see how long it takes for the boy to get the vacuum cleaner out.

6. I can't be bothered. Only use this one if you don't particularly want a relationship with the visitor and hence don't care what they think i.e. a door to door knocker.

7. It's none of your business. Only use this one if you don't particularly like the person and want to get rid of them as quickly as possible.

8. We're having a spring clean. This one also works as a car boot sale / clear out of the attic / garden sale.

9. Lady F is on a sensory tour of the house, learning and making memories.

10. I don't want Lady F to feel neglected. Children come before the housework. Every good mum knows that, right?

11. The cleaner has quit. Do you have the number of a good cleaner?

12. It is usually tidy. You just caught me on a bad day. Don't elaborate that every day is a 'bad' day.

13. I'm redecorating.

Otherwise, I enjoyed your company. Please do come again but next time do call first.

Kind regards,

An untidy mother

This is my first blog posting as a list and it was inspired by http://www.truthfulmothering.com/

Photo credit: http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/m/messy_houses.asp

11 comments:

  1. Great post! Thanks for the shout out! :)

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  2. Thanks! No worries. I really enjoy reading your blog!

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  3. Great post. As I have gotten older, I have become more truthful and direct. "Please go away" works great for me. . .or "just changing a nappy" or the one I haven't tried but have been tempted. . .give them the crying children and say "now that your here, I need a break, could u look after tham for half an hour while i go for a coffee?" i suspect that would get rid of them the quickest!

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  4. Haha. Sometimes, it's the only way to be. I've used 'just changing a nappy' but not the crying child. Thanks for the idea!

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  5. Hehehe, I really LOVE this. Really made me giggle. I'll be using some of these from now on.

    p.s. Sorry it's taken me a while to get over to your blog - thanks for stopping by mine. I have added you to my reading list now x

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  6. No problem, thanks for dropping by :)

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  7. Great post. I really dislike unexpected visits and I'm afraid I am guilty of hiding and just not answering the door occassionaly. Every day is a bad day in our house - always messy!

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  8. I have been guilty of the non-door answering too!

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  9. Someone once advised me to always keep the vacuum cleaner out in the middle of the hall, then when someone drops in unannounced you can pretend you were 'just about to do the hoovering...'

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  10. Hahaha - thanks for a hearty chuckle. One of the downsides to living in Spain is that they all keep their houses so damn clean. I'm not kidding you, they are obsessed. And then there's me. Luckily I get away with a lot because they think of me as an eccentric foreigner, which suits me just fine!

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    Replies
    1. Hehe. Judging by your beautiful pictures you are living life, which in my opinion is better than spending all day cleaning it.

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