You have just been listening to the voice of Peer Pressure.
The idea that I have to bring up a daughter in today's world is a scary prospect but is it really so different from when we were kids?
Peer pressure is a fact of life, whether young or old. Just consider Sophie the Giraffe, which has been around for decades. A celebrity is spotted with one and suddenly a child's teething toy defines the social acceptability of a mother.
I was an 80/90s kid. Then it was mostly about 'fashion'. We wore shell suits, Addidas stripes and Nike Air Max to fit in.
However, has Peer Pressure become dangerous for our children today, in its technological form?
Even more worryingly, it seems to be starting at a younger age. On my morning stroll around the neighbourhood with Lady F I overheard two girls, who couldn't have been older than 8 years old, trading an IPhone for a Blackberry. Is this so different from trading football stickers?
Then there's my 10 year old niece. In her desperation to join Facebook, like all her other school friends, she did so secretly. Obviously a 10 year old can't hide this from her mother for too long and she was subsequently grounded. Her mother refused, concerned about predators but is this really so different from the weirdo that used to hang out at our school gates?
Next, my niece again wanting to be like her friends was caught in a chat room, designed for kids, with a lot of swearing youths in it. She was again banned. Is this so different to what we heard in the school yard or out in the street on our bikes?
I'd say yes. It is different and the difference is the lack of control that we now have over who is behind the screen and what they are saying or suggesting. The exposure is greater than ever before. Or maybe, I've just become one of those pesky "in my day" people.
What do you think? Is bringing up a child now very different than our day?
Photo credit: www.jeffbullas.com
Wow at least you were stylin' in your heyday! I was also a late 80s/90s kid but I was a big fashion wreck with Cross Colors, scrunchies, terrible spandex biker shorts and the teased, teased bangs. Sigh...
ReplyDeleteOn to the topic; I think every generation has its difficulties, they're just different. However I'm very leery of technology and kids. I've just read too much on the detriments of addiction and reliance on technology with kids, not to mention the safety factors of online social networks, online bullying and being open to a wider world.
The way I see it is, if I wouldn't leave my kid alone in a room with a stranger, I wouldn't leave him alone with a computer hooked up to the internet.
Yes, I was a fashion wreck.
DeleteThat's a great way of thinking about it. I agree that every generation has their challenges though.
I agree each generation gone by has had it's challenges but it really worries me nowadays. It's not so bad when our little ones are still small but as soon as they start school and get to that age where they want to keep things private is when it gets worrying. I think back to when I was a kid, I only spoke on the phone (landline) to friends. Then as I got older I'd nip up to the phone box with little change and I used to write letters! Now kids can have a secret world without you knowing anything and there is only so much you can do to stop it. All you can do is educate them and keep your beady eye out...:-/
ReplyDeleteAh, you brought long buried back phone box memories! It's true, I think the biggest challenge is keeping vigilant and maintaining control.
DeleteI feel that the world today is very different to the one I grew up in. I was looking around a primary school for my son a few weeks ago and saw a No Bullying poster in a window drawn by one of the children. The picture was of two mobile phones showing messages, 'I hate you'/ ' I hate you more' on the screens. Bullying that was visible to all in the playground in my day now has the opportunity to be more covert.
ReplyDeleteI worry that new technology and the rise of social media means that children end up being children for less time these days. What about imaginary role play games and the good old fashioned stuff we used to play when we were kids? It seems that once they even start primary school they are subjected to so many other influences that the 'traditional stuff' falls by the wayside far more quickly these days. My 5 year old god-daughter asked for make up and disco for her birthday. What about a doll and a good old fashioned party? At her age I was playing with a Tiny Tears!
As a parent, I think it's about being vigilant and monitoring your child. But just because you have a security facility on your browser/ child's phone, it doesn't mean that other parents will have put it on their child's phone / computer too. So, at that point, I feel it's up to us as parents to be open and honest with our children about the dangers and pitfalls of the world - and to try and help them to recognise danger signs. We can't always be there to police it, and even though in educating them about this stuff, I feel it takes away some of their innocence, I'd rather do that than risk the alternatives.
When I think about this sort of situation it reinforces to me how important it is to foster a relationship of trust and open dialogue with our children.
It's a tricky one. Reading this back I do think I sound a bit like one of those 'in my day' people actually :0)
I agree. It is more covert and that makes it harder to control. It's true that they seem to be growing into little adults faster these days. I often think about what I can do to try and shield my LO from these influences for as long as possible. I do think openness is key, even though it probably will take away some of their innocence.
DeleteOh, and Tiny Tears rocked.
It is scary. I don't want mine on Facebook any time soon. It is terrifying when I see my eldest's friends are wearing make up, and high heels, crop tops, and dying their hair. They all have phones, and some even travel to the mainland alone. (It is a 2-3 hour ferry crossing, to a different island) They are 8 years old!!! I won't allow it. My 8 year oldd oes not need to chemically alter her hair, or run around in high heels. But I worry, and fear outcasting her. It is such a tough line to walk because at the end of the day we want to help our children become part of the community, society, ect. I only hope that I can maintain a relationship of trust with my children so I can be there for them along this journey.
ReplyDeleteThat's incredible. What are their parents doing?! Do we really want our children to be part of the kind of society that dies that behaves that way at 8 years old? It's a tricky one but it's so true that the balance is key.
DeleteI'm not so sure, I also grew up in the 80/90's. My 12 yr old twins both have facebook accounts and have done since they were around 10. I helped them to set them up so that they're private and all sorts and we've spoken many times about trolling and bullying and how they should only add people they know from school or family and also how they should NEVER give out their address or phone number online. I explained account hacking and I also check their accounts regularly.
ReplyDeleteOne of them did have some issues with another child in their class making mean comments towards them but she came to speak to me about it. I'd much rather my children be able to talk to me about something on the internet that may be bothering them, than feel they have to hide it away because I disprove of it.
The thing most people tend to forget is that on the internet YOU are in control. It's much easier to log off, or turn off the computer entirely than it is to get away from the strange man outside the school. I was visiting chatrooms in the mid 90's and never once was asked for any personal details, or had anyone speak to me in a way I found uncomfortable, in fact I felt a lot safer online than I did in 'Real Life' where I was being abused.
Technology and lifestyles are changing so rapidly that sometimes it's hard not to be 'in my day' on occasion but I think it's better to understand and advise rather than outright ban something because it was different for you as a child.
What a sensible approach. It sounds like you have a fantastic relationship of trust with your children.
Deleteit's different, but we adapt, when I was younger I worried my mum would listen in on my phone calls on the upstairs line, I imagine mine will panic that I will check their social media.
ReplyDeleteI like that technology has evolved so we can be more in touch with our kids but it is a case of keeping up with them!
You've just brought back a long forgotten memory. You could always tell when the upstairs phone got picked up though.
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